I posted about this on Facebook but one's space is really limited there and I wanted to say a bit more about it... So often I will think nice things like: "Cool manicure!" "I love that dress!" "That baby is a little doll!" Etc. The kinds of things I think most people think from time to time when they observe something that they appreciate. But not so often do I actually share these nice thoughts with the person who is the subject of my admiration. Why not?
Well sometimes it is because the person is a complete stranger and it seems weird to speak to them. But I don't think that's a legitimate reason. What's weird about saying something nice? It has been my experience that most people, even if a bit surprised, will react well to receiving a compliment even if it is from a total stranger.
Sometimes it's because it is a person that I know and maybe I am not that fond of that person. Well that's a terrible reason because it is indulgent of negative emotions.
Most often though it is simply because it doesn't occur to me to say the thought outloud.
Here is the real life example that made me think about this: I play that silly game, Farmville, on Facebook. One of the things I do is make a point of visiting my neighbors farms to fertilize their crops and feed their chickens (you get points that way). Well one neighbor had done something really creative and pretty on her farm and I had been admiring it for about a week or so without ever having said anything. One night though I decided "I should post a note on her farm and tell her how pretty I think this is." And I did. Although it took some time because of some computer difficulties.
Well the next day I had an email notification that she had sent me back a message saying: "Thanks! I was wondering if anyone had noticed. That made my day!" And that made me feel really good about myself! So it's a win-win situation!
So my advice to the vast emptiness that is the following of my blog: Don't just think those nice things; say them!